Medieval Knights!

A land, beset by demons, cries out for heroes. The strong and wise answer the call.

Sadly, while the strong and wise are out dealing with the major demons, the minor ones are left for the rabble to handle. Such is our cast. Journey to a land that's somewhat medieval and has knights... the land of the Medieval Knights!

Skip down to the stories.

Welcome. This is a simple page, featuring tales of the lesser classes of a fantasy world. The stories are illustrated using toys from a dollar store, all from a series called 'Medieval Knights'. (Wish I had some of the more expensive stuff from when this was first made - more knights, dragons, sober horses, etc.)

(Fake legalese: While the ideas are mine, the figures and name 'Medieval Knights' aren't - though I did add the exclamation point. I'm not attempting to infringe on anyone's rights, just looking for a creative outlet that I can twist and distort horribly. But let's face it, a toy series that never had a cartoon attached and is now being sold in dollar stores probably isn't high on the list of "Intellectual Property Defended by Hordes of Lawyers".)


The Stories:

The Legend of the Warrior Poet - a tale of a barbarian culture and the threat they face.

Knight With, Sold Separately Horse - a man meets the horse that was made for him. But sold separately. This was hard for me to write, because I often misspell "Separately", and I'm beginning to regret the preposition gag.

Lost: One Barbarian, Horseless - Good thing barbarians haven't invented cartography, as this story would never happen. Graphics intensive, and rife with copyright violations in the name of parody. While I regularly take shots at the Medieval Knights trademark by building a canon around canonless toys, this time I also take swipes at Cybersix, PvP, Penny Arcade, Doom, Quake 3, Unreal Tournament 2004, and a fixture of cable television's action film marathons. Oh, and there's one easter egg.

The Miscellany:

Pictures - Some pictures collected from the Internet of the toy line.

My Pictures - A scanner and a series of dollar toys meet to form a powerful alliance.

Run along home.
This site and everything on it are Copyright (C) The Archon 1999 - 2005, unless otherwise noted. So there.
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